I am reading a book I received from my Mother-in-law titled "Things Good Mothers Know" by Alexandra Stoddard. Many of the author's wisdoms resonate with me, so I thought I would share:
Redefine Perfectionism:
Perfection stifles creativity and resourcefulness. Since Perfectionism is unattainable in this world, I vote we bury it and move on to enjoying ourselves and time with our children, family and friends.
I am such a 'perfectionist' and I know that it has held me back from trying new things because I am afraid to 'fail' or lose.' It is high-time I start giving myself a break and enjoying life!
Excess is Destructive
Parents who overindulge their children are doing themselves and their children a great disservice. As mothers, we have a delicate balance to strike: we want to give every advantage to our children, but we don't want them to lose their drive, passion and sense of personal accomplishment. Too much good flips to the opposite.
As an adult, I have always enjoyed living a simple life, but I worry that Mike and I will overindulge our children. This book helps me to remember why we won't be doing that. Our children will not be given everything they want because it will encourage a grateful heart.
Accept Impermanence and Change
When we accept the laws of life (tides coming in and going out, cycles of the moon and sun, seasons of nature, etc)- those things that we cannot change- we can embrace making positive, appropriate changes in our lives. We can change our mind under changing circumstances.
Since moving to Maryland, many changes have occurred in my life and family that have made change a frightening thing. However, with change also becomes new beginnings and I hope that I can continue to strive to remember and honor 'the way things were' while also celebrating how things are and what lies ahead.
Make Wise Emotional Attachments
When a child makes a mistake, good mothers know not to take it personally. Somehow children grow up and in most cases turn out all right, in spite of us! They are children of the universe, and we have the privilege of caring form them in their formative years. The more loving we are, the less possessive and demanding we become. True love is selfless love.
This goes back to the unhealthy personal definition of perfectionism. I am going to do the best I can to not take my children's actions personal at all times. Of course, I believe parents need to take responsibility and teach what is right, but I will not define myself through my child.
What is most important to you?
What's most important to me is to know I am doing my best - to fulfill myself, to be happy, and to enrich the lives of my children, family, friends and world. We can only spread happiness and love from a happy, loving heart.
One thing I would like to remember as a mother is to make time for myself and the things I love, so that I can continue to grow as a person and show my children the fulfillment of having passions. I will work to share my happiness with my children daily.
